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Are you transitioning your family to paleo? Are they coming along, or kicking and screaming?
I have two kids and one husband who sat at the same dinner table as me for fifteen months as non-paleos before I could say we were a paleo family.
I thought and thought about how to get them to eat the way I did. I had one sugar-addict boy, a wheat-and-dairy-addict boy and this-is-the-way-I-like-it-I-don’t-need-to-change boy.
Over time, I got them there by brainstorming, negotiating, rule-setting and flexibility. And I learned there’s a lot of psychology that goes into this process. And many practical skills. Having the right recipes is just the start.
Here are 11 of my tips for having successful paleo mealtimes with your non-paleo family.
1. Take it slowly. Don’t rush. Be a tortoise, not a hare. You will create enormous resistance if you rush this too quickly so slow down, relax. It is important not to overwhelm yourself or your family. Your speed of transition should vary dependent upon the urgency of the threat non-paleo food presents. If you have a spouse whose life is threatened by his eating habits, just like you’d sprint from a tiger, you need to move quickly. Your spouse is more likely motivated to change too. But if there is nothing pressing, go slower. That way, you’ll increase your chances of success.
2. Choose one thing. Decide on one small change and do that. I decided to drop the starch with our evening meal. No-one noticed for a while. Whatever it is, change just that, nothing else. Get that down and move to the next step.
3. Transition to fruit for dessert. My family used to eat dessert every night. We did the eat-all-your-dinner-then-you-can-have-dessert thing with our kids. We always had something sweet to offer. It was expected. But now we rarely have desserts. To bridge the gap, I offered fruit a couple of nights a week. It helped that they already ate fruit at other times of day. There was some objection but nothing terrible. And gradually, I increased the fruit desserts and decreased the other puddings. Then I told them one night, there was no dessert. They were a little surprised but they got over it. We played a board game instead. And, again slowly, I increased the number of nights we had no dessert. And eventually, they just stopped asking. The whole process probably took 3 months. Your speed may vary depending on your circumstances.
4. Paleo-ize one meal at a time. If you’re working on making dinner paleo, keep lunch and breakfast the same. Even if they are sandwiches and sugary breakfast cereals. We need routine, the familiar to hold onto, especially when we are transitioning. It creates security. It’s why we need to put a few things about us immediately when we move house. Or have our bedtime rituals to prepare us for sleep. It took me a year to tackle school lunches and it did feel weird making sandwiches while I was reviewing paleo recipes for dinner but I kept the end goal in mind – to paleo-ize our whole lives over time.
5. Collect a dozen family favorite paleo menus. If you think about it, most families have a few favorite meals they all enjoy and they rotate them. Make your list and post it on your fridge. Take the thinking (which is the hard part) out of the daily grind.
6. Plan ahead. Use meal planners, shopping lists, prepare evening meals in the morning. Don’t wait until 5pm to decide what’s for dinner. Saving Dinner even has a paleo menu mailer and shopping list offering if you can’t do it yourself.
7. Buy several thermos. I’ve found these to be lifesaver to avoid the pull of sandwiches. Fill them with leftovers, meatballs, sausage. Easy, quick, portable. Make sure your kids can open them easily.
8. Make a meal you can all eat with some variations. Don’t cook 2 meals. You’ll get tired, frustrated and build walls between the paleo and non-paleo sections of the family. And remember, you are not a servant to your family. Or a short order cook. Granted, your family won’t be eating pizza anytime soon but tell them they can make it themselves or eat it outside the home if it’s that important. In the beginning, let them eat chicken casserole with a puff pastry biscuit. You just eat the casserole. Gradually as you work through the transition, drop the biscuit. Progress not perfection.
9. Be mindful of every grocery purchase you make. If you are still eating breakfast cereal, buy less sugary ones. If you are still eating bread, buy wholemeal or one made with no additives. Buy a healthier yoghurt. And eliminate the purchases you can that aren’t paleo. Keep moving in the right direction.
10. Keep an eye out for major resistance. If you hit a wall with your family, step it back a notch. My family refused for a long time to accept hamburgers without buns. They’d go out and buy them just in time for dinner. My husband would drive the kids to the store and they’d come back not only with buns but ones I would consider the worst kind – the ones whose ingredient list I didn’t care to look at. I let that go for quite a while. It wasn’t what I wanted but I felt I wanted to win the war not the battle, so I focused elsewhere and kept serving up hamburgers without buns. Eventually as paleo became more established in our house, they became less in thrall to wheat and stopped going to the store for buns. They happily eat burgers without them now.
11. Bet money on your family’s health. Six years ago, I made the switch to shopping at Wholefoods. I knew it was supposed to be expensive and money was tight at the time but I felt it was more important to get high fructose corn syrup, additives and other chemicals out of our diet and Wholefoods offered me the best chance of that. I felt that even if we spent more on groceries, we’d pay less in the long run on medical and therapist bills. The interesting thing is that I spent exactly the same money at Wholefoods for a weekly shop as I did at Safeway. For two reasons – I shopped much more carefully, planning meals and buying only what I needed. And I wasn’t stocking my shelves unnecessarily with two-, three- and four-fer deals which are almost never paleo foods. These kinds of deals are rarely found in Wholefoods. I realize that not everyone can do this but I do urge you to spend as much as you can afford on your food. Save elsewhere if you can. Give food a high priority in your budget and buy the highest quality that you can afford.
Have you transitioned your family to paleo? Do you have any tips? Let us know in the comments!
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Written by Alison Golden
Alison Golden writes on the topic of paleo over at Paleo/NonPaleo. She aims to share ideas, inspire and motivate readers by teaching them how to live paleo in a non-paleo world. She is also the author of the bestselling book, The Modern, No-Nonsense Guide to Paleo, a unique tool that gives the reader hundreds of strategies to navigate the learning process to successful paleo living.
{ 23 comments… read them below or add one }
Great tips Alison.
We are still trying to get the kids fully on board after about 2 years. While we have made some great strides there can be some blow-back now and then… We are so proud of our kids for how far they have come and are amazed at their maturity in some of the food decisions they make.
Take your time and avoid getting frustrated with them is my advice. They are kids after all.
My Paleo Life ~ Brock Brown recently posted..My 5+1 Paleo Small Appliances I Can’t Do Without!
I totally agree, Brock. It is worth going slowly with them. I doubt we will ever get our kids fully on board. They are 12 and just yesterday other parents brought ice cream, gatorade, truffles, cornflake cakes, cookies and strawberries covered in white and milk chocolate to their baseball game. But I hope that even if they fall off the wagon completely when they are older, at some point, they will get back on and they will know how to do it or have a parent still around to show them the way.
This post is SUPER HELPFUL for me! I found you via Paleo Parents, and I really appreciate your writing, ideas, and enthusiasm. I am currently trying to go primal with our family…one step at a time. We’re still in the process of getting the gluten out of our house. The good thing is that my kids LOVE the fresh veggies we get every week from our local farmers’ market. I can see that getting them to give up pizza and peanut butter sandwiches is going to be tough, but because of your story, I am confident that they will…eventually.
Thank you so much for this blog!
Yep, as long as you’re going in the right direction with kids, you’re good. You’re one step a time approach is spot-on. My kids are now PBandJ-free (shocker, huh? Who knew kids could survive without?
) I can’t remember when we last had one of those – and they don’t even question it. Pizza they have outside the house but it doesn’t come inside. They don’t snack (too full from leftovers) have both lost weight and are very calm, considerate kids. Paleo has done wonders. They love coming shopping with me, in fact, I’d like to go on my own sometimes. 
Thanks for commenting, Jackie. And welcome!
Alison Golden recently posted..My Battle With High Cholesterol and What I’m Doing About It
Hi, I just found you through Dean Dwyer!!
Thank you! Its nice to know that I am not the only one going through this. I am currently in the midst (but does it ever really stop?) of transitioning the family over..very, very slowly.
But I am still having difficulty even thinking about removing the toast at breakfast and the sandwiches at lunch. They have eggs in the morning, but on their toast. The fillings in their lunches are good, its just the bread.
Help!!
Hi Rebecca: I wouldn’t force it, the solution will come to you when you are ready. My kids eat yogurt, smoothies, eggs and bacon, leftovers from dinner, nut butter, fruit for breakfast and usually leftovers for lunch in a thermos. It was a slow process for us – well over a year – and a few grumbles but nothing serious. Now they don’t even mention it apart from the odd request for cereal when we are out grocery shopping. One thing I did was let them eat the sandwich fillings and toast toppings even the unhealthy ones like jelly or nutella on a spoon for a while without the bread until I one day, ‘forgot’ to buy that too. Just a thought.
Alison Golden recently posted..Priceless Lessons From Twenty-Five Year Weight-Loss Battle
When we went paleo, I just asked my husband to do it for 30 days to support me before our vacation in April. I cleaned out the house so nothing was left, being non-paleo wasn’t an option. But, if he didnt feel better after 30 days he could go back. As for the kids, I have 3 between the ages of 3 and 7. We explained that we were giving up foods that were hurting all of us. We did get them the paleo parents book “eat like a dinosaur” to help them understand eating different than their friends. For the first 2 months we let them eat their school lunches but were paleo at home, this was horrible, my son’s body was so confused – lunch at school made him violently I’ll every day. So, I told them the same thing I told my husband, 30 full days 100% paleo. Everyone felt so much better, that there has never been a question. We are only in our 4th month, but my husband is down 35 lbs, I am down 22 and the kids have no symptoms of allergies or asthma, nor do I. In addition my migraines (which have been crippling in the past 5 years) are gone. I, obviously, am pro going cold turkey, after all it saves the lives of those you love and as a parent, that’s my primary job. Along the way we’ve already motivated so many others too.
The biggest problem I have is my inlaws, who are certain we are starving our children, and frankly, their opinion isn’t any concern of mine, I just had to stop them from feeding my kids misinformation.
While I tend to promote a gradual transition most often, I do agree that we need to change at a rate that reflects the urgency of our situation. If people, especially children, are debilitated by health issues that are diet-related the urgency is there, and often the motivation. Thank you for commenting, Leanna!
Alison Golden recently posted..13 Simple Tips to Paleo Your Way Out of a Crisis
So glad I found this today, Alison. I’ve spent the better part of this summer with an awful cough which usually strikes in the middle of the night. Trips to the doctor haven’t yielded much in the way of relief or valid info. Seems like a bad case of allergies, so I’m going to a specialist next week. I speculate something in my diet is the culprit (or one, anyway). I’m going to eliminate wheat and corn for the next two weeks and see what happens…
Love your practical tips and the flexibility offered. Makes resisting change so much easier
.
Linda Esposito recently posted..On Taking a Mental Health Day, Mindfulness, and Goodbye
How are you doing, Linda? I’ve read soooooo many stories of reduced allergies and asthma from people who have gone paleo. I do hope you’ve found some relief. As I always say when we have a chronic health problem, ‘The first place to start is our diet.’
Alison Golden recently posted..13 Simple Tips to Paleo Your Way Out of a Crisis
I am so glad we learned about Primal/Paleo early while our kids are still young 5 and 2. I think it makes it a little easier, along with the fact we are homeschooling. We still see plenty of processed food at friends houses and Grandma’s house. I have a hard time keeping the crackers and candy completely out of the house, especially around holidays. I just wish I liked cooking more, I am the one at 5, 6 or even 7 pm trying to decide what’s for dinner. I totally need a class in kitchen organization and planning.
Maggie:
I’m not a big cook, either. I spend five minutes on a Sunday planning my meals. I have a meal planner I made up myself – very, very simple. I try to prepare the meals before 10am. As a friend once said to me, ‘If it’s not made by noon, we’re eating out.’ A crockpot also hits several spots – easy, delicious meals, on the go by 10am. Thanks for commenting!
Alison Golden recently posted..13 Simple Tips to Paleo Your Way Out of a Crisis
I am trying to transition my kids (since last January) 11 and 13. I told them in advance when I was going to clean up the pantry and why. I still buy them bagels, cheese, cream cheese, sweetened yogourt, even cookies, crackers, snacks and pizza on occasion. The worst happened today, after my daughter went to a doctor’s appointment because of nausea, headaches and stomach ache. Turns out I seem to be to blame for what is happening. I get huge resistance (still after all these months). They (especially my 13 years old, will not even try the suppers I make. They think I am crazy.
Father (doesn’t live with me) eat a SAD diet. Was operated for a brain tumour last year. I feel quite exhausted about the whole thing, I feel like an eating disorder is being created, and this is what I least wanted. I am not prepared to start filling the pantry with SAD processed foods. I asked my daughter to make me a sample menu of what she would like me to make for her. I told her I would then look at it and we could decide together for healthy options. I am one frustrated paleo mommy! Help!
THANK YOU for writing this! I am in the very early stages myself, but even after just 3-4 weeks I’m down 9 lbs, and feeling so much better!!! I am a believer and have started serving paleo meals to the family at dinner…sometimes with a grain, but sometimes not…slowly transitioning I hope!! thanks for the advice
I am beginning my own journey on making the switch to paleo. I thought my best shot at this transition would be to phase out one food at a time, like starting with desserts (I have a TERRIBLE sweet tooth) than working on grains, etc but I read lots of blogs that say go cold turkey. Which is easier? Also, my biggest obstacle is going to be my husband. He is a processed food junky and there is NO talking him out of that lifestyle. He cannot STAND vegetables of any kind and unless I literally were to tie him down and shove them down his throat, I cannot get him to eat them. I’ve tried for YEARS when I made the switch to organic. So I have to buy him separate food, meaning temptations will still be in the house and my kids will still see Daddy eating this stuff. My second biggest obstacle is my husbands family, they too are processed food AND fast food junkies. I know when my kids go over there they will give them crap and my husband isn’t too bothered by it bc “that’s what gparents do.” We also have a tradition of family dinner at my in laws every Sunday, where all their kids and grand kids come over and sometimes other family members. This is NOT a paleo friendly affair, and I suppose I don’t feel it’s my place to ask them to switch their Sunday meals to suit only me and my kids. Than there are the holiday traditions of Thanksgiving and Christmas. What do should I do in these situations, especially when transitioning my and my children to Paleo? I wonder if this is a terrible time to start the switch coming up on the holiday season. And do you still let your kids go trick or treating? I’m having loads of trouble figuring out the best way to make this transition. I don’t want to deprive my children of their childhood by taking away trick or treating, birthday parties, etc. bc none of it is paleo friendly and I don’t want to offend my in laws during the holidays or on Sundays. And I dont know know how to get the full support of my husband. I know Im big enough to resist temptations, but when mom is not around I know he will slip them his Little Debbie snacks bc he firmly believes it wont “kill” them. Even though his diet is horrid, he hasn’t had any health problems as of yet and he’s a lean 150 lb, 6’1″ 30 year old so he doesnt see any “effects” of his eating style. Therefore, he doesnt have any motivation or “reasoning” to switch it up. Everyone in his family has the same bad eating habits and no one has had any critical illness or died young, so he has trouble correlating these eating habits with poor health and a shortened life. Also, I’m very confused on the restriction of peanut butter. Aren’t paleos big on nuts? And fats? I’ve also always learned that bacon is TERRIBLE for your heart. And that smoked foods are bad as well. Lastly, I have a 15 month old who is on whole milk. Should I really be switching her to non-dairy at her age and take away milk? Sorry all the questions, I just need a lot of clarity to be confident in my switch! Any advice is appreciated!
Hi Melissa:
Take the transition process whichever way makes most sense to you. Going cold turkey works for some, a more gradual process makes more sense for others. Choose the route that you think you are most likely to be successful with.
Re. your husband: Read this post http://www.beingprimal.com/12-sneaky-ways-to-convert-someone-to-paleo and all those on the New to Paleo tab in the navigation bar above. Especially the 27 Ways… post.
Re. the inlaws and celebration time, you can’t control everything so focus on yourself to start with. Slow down, breathe…and work on your own compliance to paleo. In time, you will influence others in a subtle way. If you haven’t already, sign up, download and read the Ten Tragic Mistakes report in the top right hand corner of this page.
Yes, I let my kids go trick or treating. They are 12 and we have a rule that outside the home, their choices, inside the home – my choices (the alternative is to starve.) There are several ideas you can consider re. Halloween – doing a buyback, doing an overnight switch – candy is taken by the ‘Switch Witch’ and a toy appears in place, you can package up your candy and send it off to troops, our local dentist offers a buy back scheme where he donates to our local school in exchange for the candy – so look out for ideas like that.
Peanuts are a legume (a bean) and paleos don’t eat legumes so peanuts are out but other nuts are in.
My personal opinion is that bacon ,while better than other foods, is still a treat food for paleos and going paleo shouldn’t be an excuse to eat it in enormous quantities. Others would disagree with me. However, do read and read and read up about being paleo and the science behind it – be prepared to unlearn much of what you have learned about food and nutrition up until now.
In summary, don’t worry too much about controlling everyone else just focus on you. Make your kids diet as healthy as possible where you can but don’t stress what happens outside the home, don’t even stress what role modelling your husband is providing. And definitely don’t stop them going to birthday parties and such. Just focus on your own health and diet. No-one elses. In time, you will get creative and full of strategies but be patient, it will take time. Be a role model for others. And read those articles. Lots of good ideas.
Alison Golden recently posted..The Ultimate Secret (and Sometimes Not-So Secret) Paleo Holiday Gift-Giving Guide
I’m finally reading up on ways to get the kids on board. I seem to have a unique situation I haven’t read too much about: what to do when it’s your stepkids you’re trying to convert.
My partner Matt and I have been Primal/Paleo for nearly a year and cannot imagine eating any other way. But the kids? Yeah, about that…
One of the most difficult parts is their ages: 9 and 11, with the 11 year-old being a young girl on the verge of puberty. (such a fun age!)
The 9 year old boy hates eggs. The 11 year old girl hates meat and vegetables. Makes it tough on recipe planning for the times we have the kids. She’s been having tons of headaches and stomachaches and I just KNOW that if I could get her to change her diet even for only a week she would feel so much better. But instead, mom sends her over with a bag of crackers for her nausea.
I tried “Eat Like a Dinosaur.” They were not impressed. At. All.
I tried disguising spaghetti squash like a ‘different’ type of pasta. They hated it.
Getting them to eat vegetables in order to eat dessert is like pulling TEETH. Even as much as they love sugar, they have had some nights where they gave up dessert so that they didn’t have to eat the vegetables. It’s that bad!!!
I’m nearly at my wits end, but your article here was wonderful. It gave me hope and a wonderful reminder to be patient and persistent. I liked your fruit-for-dessert idea. I’m trying to work on not making an alternate meal for them. They are just so dang picky, it kills me! That’s the whole thing – it’s not even just about being paleo – they are picky (the girl more so than the boy) about EVERYTHING. I even once made a nice maple-glazed chicken, thinking she would like it because of the sweetness. Nope – to her, it was ‘weird’ to have chicken taste sweet. Talk about wanting to scream.
I just wanted to say thanks for the tips here. I am going to keep on keeping on!!!
-Sarah
Hi Alison. After dabbling in low carb and whole30 and primal eating for many many years now, and after watching “Hungry for Change” on netflix this weekend, I tearfully looked at my husband and declared, “We are making some changes”. My 15 year old son thinks that my ideas are “stupid” and that “nothing is going to change”, but I expected that. My husband says that he is game, but I suspect he’ll balk once we put things into play. My 11 year old daughter seems game, and excited, and wants to know if she can share this with her father!? Anyway, reading this post really allowed me to take a breath and “relax” and realize that I can do this one step at a time. Thanks, and I’m following your paleo board on netflix. Marie in Vermont.
Great post! I went the way of eliminating the starches at dinner for my dad. My mom and I stopped eating them and we only made small portions for my dad or pointed him in the direction of the bread or pasta if he asked. Now he either goes without or tries whatever side I’ve prepared!
Slowly, but surely– he even asked for my help in trying to cut carbs!!
This is so great! I’ve recently started transitioning to paleo, and while my fiancé is on board, I still worry about my parents and siblings. My dad had me print out a bunch of things I found about eating paleo and I think he is coming around to it, but really if they could just cut out all the processed foods they eat, that would make all the difference! My brother is a vegetarian but eats SO much processed foods that he is missing out on how healthy he could be with being a vegetarian. This post was so helpful and gave me the advice I need to help them out!
Excellent tips Alison, thank you. I almost went cold turkey with paleo but it’s been hard and created higher chocolate cravings! I was a big wheat eater previously. It’s probably more practical to step it, as you say!
I’m a big believer in going gradually, Paula. I think makes for more sustainability and more skill building in the area of lifestyle/eating style change.
Alison Golden recently posted..The Modern No-Nonsense Guide to Paleo Is Here!
Thanks Alison
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